Targets and Victims of Bullying

You're Not Alone

Many people have been targets and victims of bullying in the workplace

This article may help:


This page is dedicated to those of you who suffering, you are suffering because you are being treated badly by a boss, or perhaps a colleague. You probably came to this site after searching elsewhere for advice on how to deal with an abrasive boss or peer, and chances are you learned of a variety of strategies, ranging from "Stand up to your boss and tell him/her that you're not going to stand for it anymore” (a fight strategy) to "Get out of there as soon as you can" (a flight strategy). You've probably seen a lot of books along the lines of "How to Survive a Bully Boss," written with the understanding that it is somehow your job to endure the pain, and/or solve the problem of abrasive leadership.

We hold a very different view at the Boss Whispering Institute. We don't believe it's your job to rein in an abrasive leader or colleague – we believe it is the employer’s responsibility to provide an environment free of workplace bullying.

At this stage in history, employers accept that it is their duty to provide a physically safe work place, and they do this by establishing safety policies and intervening when employees fail to follow those policies. The time has now come for employers to accept their duty to provide a psychologically safe workplace – a place where employees can come to work without fear of being subjected to bullying behaviors.

Why don’t employers already do this? The popular literature would have you believe it's because they’re all evil and uncaring. Through our research and extensive work in the field of coaching abrasive leaders, we have found that more often than not employers don't know what to do. They are reluctant to fire a technically competent (but interpersonally incompetent) leader for a variety of reasons, including loss of valued expertise or revenue, or fear of litigation for terminating the individual. We’ve also found that many employers have confronted their abrasive leaders for unacceptable conduct and asked that they "ease up on others," but to no avail, because abrasive leaders characteristically deny that they are abrasive. Over and over again we encounter employers who feel hopeless and helpless

Why are we telling you this? Because armed with the understanding that it is an employer’s responsibility to manage the problem of abrasive leadership, along with insights into why they hesitate to do this, you may be in a position to show them a better way. Our mission at the Boss Whispering Institute is to reduce suffering in the workplace caused by abrasive leaders, and we are training Boss Whisperers worldwide who can help employers solve the problem through specialized coaching for abrasive leaders. Instead of being written off as a "complainer," or as engaged in a "simple personality conflict" when you voice your distress, we’d like you to consider a different approach – one in which you are perceived not as a threat to the organization as you bring forward the issue of abrasive leadership, but as an ally. You (along with other concerned colleagues) could talk with your employer in a way that you will be perceived to be calm, rational, and concerned not only for your well-being, but also for the well-being of the organization.

How can you learn more about this approach?

  • First, we recommend you read a chapter at no cost, written especially for those who work for, or with an abrasive leader entitled “Risky Business.” The chapter is taken from Taming the Abrasive Manager: How to End Unnecessary Roughness in The Workplace, written by the Institute’s founder, Dr. Laura Crawshaw. To read the chapter, click here. To purchase the book (and perhaps give a copy to your employer), click on the book cover .
  • Second, we recommend that you visit the website of The Boss Whispering Institute (, which was designed to show employers how to intervene and refer their abrasive leaders for specialized coaching. You may want to suggest this as a resource for your employer and let them know they can get in touch with Gary Scholz, director of Project Balance to assist them. Gary is trained in the Boss Whispering method developed by Dr Crawshaw.
  • If you (or your employer) would like to read more about how the Boss Whispering method works, read Coaching Abrasive Leaders: Using Action Research to Reduce Suffering and Increase Productivity in Organizations (Crawshaw, L., International Journal of Coaching in Organizations, Autumn, 2010).

If you would like to have a confidential conversation with Gary regarding any issues that you may be facing in the workplace and need assistance, please get in touch via ph or email.

Mobile 0432 740 696 E:

Workplace bullying is verbal, physical, social or psychological abuse by your employer (or manager), another person or group of people at work.

Enjoy your visit to this website, and please contact us if you would like to improve the levels of balance, wellbeing and productivity in your workplace.

Gary Mobile 0432 740 696 E: